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Coming home from Seattle on the Clipper we sat in front of two men whom I found to be loud and annoying. They were en-route to Victoria for a business meeting. It was obvious that the gent sitting at the window was higher in the company echelon (Mr. Boss). His coworker (Jan) was working really hard at impressing him.  We heard the complaints of the poor breakfast at the Clipper Cafe compared to the 5 Star hotel Mr. Boss was staying at (duh) and the fact that he was pretty angry this meeting was so early in Canada.  Mr. Boss called his assistant many times changing his flight plans for a future flight – twice forgetting her name.  Then the voice control emails began.  He commented to his travelling companion how inept these voice controls are but he continued to send them.

Jan pointed out some of the great scenery.  He told Mr. Boss that he and his wife had thought about buying on Whitby Island – it was very beautiful.  Mr. Boss said snottily “Oh really?  I do like Florida.  Are there golf courses there?”

Mr. Boss said he couldn’t believe the customs officer in SEA called Jan, Janice.  Jan reacted quite emotionally (and louder than usual): “that’s my name!!”  Mr. Boss said “really?”  “Yes, Janus is my name, J-A-N-U-S. It would be Janice if I was a female”  SILENCE.

More work related, professional conversation continued.  I actually felt sorry for Jan.  Mr. Boss was difficult and Jan was not making headway.  Then, the pivotal moment came.  Jan yawned and said “I’ve been awake since 3 a.m. when our dog jumped on our bed and puked.  Then he looked at us as if to say ‘what are we going to do today?’ haha”.  Mr. Boss instantly softened. “Really, you have a dog?  What kind?  I have two Whippets”.  Their strained working relationship barrier was eased. They’d found a common thread and a pretty great one, I thought! They talked about the ages of each dog, their habits, showed pictures on their phones, etc. Although I was not facing them, I know there were smiles on their faces. I quickly warmed up to these two guys.  They like dogs.

I love that no matter how pretentious, cranky, and arrogant people can be, talking about their pet completely changes their disposition in such a positive way. It also changes the way I view some people. I ended up thinking these guys were okay! I even partially forgave Jan’s final comment as we pulled into Victoria Harbour – “weird looking boat over there, must be bringing in beer, it’s Canada after all”.

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On October 24th, my cherished sister Lanie passed away. Grief really is such a personal thing, isn’t it? You won’t hear about how I’m doing with that – that’s between her and I. But, I hope to share my favourite memories of her. One is below.

Given our age difference, I think Lanie felt protective of me in a way and at times she wanted to give me some almost parental advice. I often heard ‘Now Debbie’, ‘Let me tell you’, ‘you may not want to hear this but….’

Sometimes it irked me, but most of the time I knew she just cared and she thought it important that I had her views on things.

Over the years of living in Calgary, she often remarked at how much meat we ate and how much we barbeque. ‘You Albertans!’ When I would complain about the weather I would hear a sigh as if to say ‘you choose to live there’.

We talked often about how nice it would be if we moved to Vancouver Island when we retired. We’d be able to see each other more and have some Sunday dinners.When it came to fruition that we would be retiring and moving to Parksville, I had one of the best conversations with her. I smiled for days.

Lanie: Now Debbie, are you sure you want to be an island girl? You guys eat so much meat. You’d have to learn to like fish. What about the rain? You can’t just stay inside when it rains, you have to get on some boots and go out in it. Are you up for it?

Me: I like fish.

Lanie: You won’t be able to get your nails done all the time here. That’s all going to change. It will be different here.

Me: (Laughing) Lanie, you sound like I’m moving to Gilligan’s Island!!

Lanie: Well, I just want you to be prepared; it’s going to be a lot different than Calgary.

I miss and will always miss her perspective on things – and our conversations

– Ginger